It touches your soul and we have all been there – trapped in our own film reel, wondering how we could have changed thing, and drowning in our memories. The raw pain that Griffin feels is immediately followed by memories of happiness and the whole thing ends up being one bittersweet walk down memory lane. This has to be one of the reasons why the whole plot just works. (118)īecause of the juxtaposition of older memories and the present, the mystery within the story unfurls, bringing us deeper downward into the guilt as Griffin begins his downward spiral. You were finally able to speak back to me, Theo, and I don’t like everything you had to say. Silvera draws on this well of emotions and brings it to the surface in a compelling and moving story. This lack of closure, of answers, is universal. All left with questions and regrets, things we wish we had said or done. We are all left, after a relationship, with the relativity of our experiences, of our history. They open up to you, share their darkest secrets, and because of their honesty, the secret feelings inside of you open as well. The writing and the characters are so real, but also so vulnerable. It is beautifully written and the book is littered with sticky notes from my markings.

This book had me from page one and hasn’t put me down yet. If bringing up the past annoys you…know that I’m sorry, but please don’t be mad at me for reliving all of it. However, the only one who can truly understand the depth of his pain is Theo’s most recent boyfriend and in an attempt to reconcile their loss, Griffin steps onto a path that is full of heart break and secrets.

Feelings and histories come into motion as Griffin must come to terms with both Theo’s death, and his own future. When the death of Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend Theo occurs, his whole world shatters. So many moments were universally relatable and reading this novel was like looking back into my own teenage past – full of angst, pain, and ex-boyfriends. After a relationship ends, we are always left with regrets, secrets, and question not to mention pain and longing. This book was heartbreakingly real and its pages left me aching with compassion and understanding.

The history you left me